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Posts Tagged ‘paralyzed’

When My Health Affects His

STRESS, 😬it’s there, we all have it, can’t stop it, can’t change it, but when my honey’s health is now affected because of me, well, tell me, how am I supposed to deal with that?

He loves me I know, he worries about me it’s true, he stresses over us, what can I do? Continue Reading Here

HELLO. . . I Can Speak For Myself

Lately I’ve been finding myself getting more and more frustrated 😠 when I get treated different when my honey and I are out.” I’m finding more and more people talk about me as if I wasn’t there when I’m right there!

Last week we went to the dry cleaners so I could have a few pieces altered and the seamstress looked directly at my honey and asked “can she try this on”? EXCUSE ME. . . do you not see me?????

Does she need this, can she do that, does she what to do this, at the risk of being rude I feel I need to start responding with “HELLO, I’M SITTING RIGHT HERE AND CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF!”

So what is it that makes people feel I’m not capable of speaking for myself, is it the wheelchair, is it because I’m a person of short stature or is it a combination of the fact that I am a person of short stature who happens to be in a wheelchair? I struggle to answer that because I simply just don’t know.

I had a very successful career for 30 working at the headquarters of a national non-profit organization. Ending my career I was a Director responsible for generating millions of dollars annually which required a great deal of contract negotiating to come to a mutually beneficial agreement. So, if I somehow managed to think for myself and speak to others for 55 years, why now all of a sudden do people think it’s okay to speak as if I’m not “sitting” right in front of them!

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

Please feel free to “SHARE” this post with your family/friends! And don’t forget to leave your comments below, we love hearing from you!

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Adjusting to Celebrating. . .

This past weekend we celebrated both my mother’s 80th birthday and St. Patrick’s Day…let me say I “celebrated” on the outside and cried on the inside. Continue Reading Here

A Guest In My Home

Sad but true, forced to rely on other people to do everything for you, completely strips you of your identity as a person in so many ways. Continue Read Here

#Advocate For #Family Restrooms

Today I read an interesting blog post titled A Bad Advocate With Good Intentions on the Help Codi Heal blog. As I read this post it occurred to me that almost every blog I have read by a paralyzed person, woman or man, talks about being an advocate for disabilities and/or a motivational speaker. Up until now I was thinking perhaps many become motivational speakers because it’s one of the few things they can do. I enjoyed Hedi’s post because I loved the honesty. And then it hit me, I think I too may be or could be a bad #advocate with good intentions. Continue Reading

#Thanksgiving – Today’s Thankfulness Is In My Past

Next week is #Thanksgiving, normally a very festive and thankful season, the start of the holiday season.

By this time, the week before Thanksgiving, my house would normally be filled with fall colors, fall decorations both indoors and outdoors and smells of fall simmering in my wax warmer and on the stove.  I loved the making my guests feel warm and welcome the minute they approached our door so my outdoors was always filled with cheerful decor!

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Honesty Doesn’t Mean Depressed

Okay so I’ve been getting some messages that some people think I’m sad, or withdrawn, I’m not, I’m just being honest. Read More Here

Finding & Believing In A Purpose

What’s my purpose?  I think at some point everyone has wondered what’s their purpose in this journey called life right, well, me too, especially now.

We’ve all heard about those “aha moments” that so many people have that defined their purpose, helped them gain insight into their purpose, well for me, I was waiting for my “aha moment” before living this life #paralyzed and now I’m really waiting on it.

I’m beyond blessed to have a WONDERFUL man by my side for nearly 14 years!  Since becoming paralyzed 2.5 years ago my honey has had to do all the things I use to do (cook [although I didn’t cook much, I believe in supporting the local businesses, i.e. local restaurants, LOL], clean, laundry, etc.) all while holding down a full time job while I sit in this #wheelchair all day in our living room.   So now I’m left wondering not only what is my overall purpose in life but what do I bring to our relationship.

Now, without a doubt, my honey continues to tell me, every day, 5x a day, he loves me, he will do absolutely anything for me, he’s always making me smile & laugh and he tells me I’m a valuable part of “us.”
If I am honest with myself, before becoming paralyzed it was me that wrote out the checks & paid the bills, it was me that wrote out holiday/birthday cards, it was me that picked out and shopped, mostly online, for our household goods, it was me that remembered dates of events or appointments, it was me that reminded him of when cars needed to be inspected, if we were doing a vacation, it was me that researched the location, booked the activities, booked our lodging, etc. all this to say that for many years our motto was, and still is, “I’m the brains, he’s the brawn” so if that’s still the same, I wish I could get past feeling so useless. It’s a slow process for sure, but I’m thankful to have my honey, always loving, always encouraging, always here!

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

Please feel free to “SHARE” this post with your family/friends! And don’t forget to leave your comments below, we love hearing from you!

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When Friends Become Acquaintances

Sadly we tend to lose “friends” at different stages of our lives.  Some may lose school friends due to college or marriage, some may loose friends due to careers and/or moves and yes, some may lose friends due to a tragic accident or unforeseen life altering situation.

I get it, it doesn’t make it easier but I get it.  I’m no longer able to jump in my car and have a girls night out, or go to lunch with my friends, I’m not longer able meet the girls for a shopping spree, etc.

When I first became #paralyzed I was overwhelmed and grateful with the many well wishes and very generous financial assistant from previous co-works, friends, family & neighbors.  Now, 2.5 years post tragedy, many of my friends have faded into the background.

Heck, because I have a stranger (a.k.a. aide) in my house M -F 6 hours a day I don’t like people to stop in unexpectedly because we (maybe more me) don’t feel comfortable or relaxed talking as we normally would.  As a result, no one stops in to visit.  And, sadly, for the same reason, not many call either. Lack of privacy in my own home has now isolated me even more than being #paralyzed.

For me, my weekends are my heaven, no aide = somewhat normalcy.  Being able to visit my parents, because my honey can pick me up and transfer me to the car and drive me there enables me to help them in the small way I can of helping with their mail, riding around doing a few errands for them and just being able to spend time with them warms my heart and of course it goes without saying, spending time with my honey, who always make me smile, laughing together makes the week bearable.

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

Please feel free to “SHARE” this post with your family/friends! And don’t forget to leave your comments below, we love hearing from you!

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It’s Okay to Not be Okay…

I’m not okay, or at least, I’m not who I was before, before losing my joy, my energy, my zest for life, my love of the changing seasons, my enjoyment in decorating, before losing me, Read More

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