Phyllis Tarlow Fine Art - Hudson From Bear Mt
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Posts Tagged ‘paralyzed’

I Hope You Dance. . .

Mother’s Day. . .a special day to show our Mother’s extra thanks, extra appreciation and most importantly extra 💖.

Not being a mother myself, I can only guess what my mother must have thought that Thursday morning back in 1961. I’ve since been told that on that Thursday morning, the doctors said “she has skin like ivory and jet black hair like her Mommy,” BUT, she is the same as her brother. Immediately my Father said “it’s us 4 and no more.”

What must my mother have thought? Perhaps it was will she walk? Will she be able to go to school like other children? Will she have friends? Will she have a career? Will she find love? I’m certain of a few thoughts I know she had, I will LOVE her, I will SUPPORT her, I will ENCOURAGE her all the days of my life. My mother has done that and so much more.

My mother, together with my father, instilled in me a sense of belonging, a fierce belief in myself and unconditional love. I was encourage to do everything and anything I thought I could do. I was supported through every decision I made and experience I had. I was loved, and am still loved!

My mother stood proud as I graduated high school, got my first car, secured my first job, purchased my own home all with a big smile on her face and open arms showing approval of my accomplishments.

Now ii’s supposed to be my turn to SUPPORT her, my time to ENCOURAGE her, mostly my time to THANK her. Sadly, I’m now limited as to how much I can do to support and encourage her. Sadly, all those questions she must have had back on that Thursday morning in 1961 were resurrected on that fateful day in June 2016, the day I became #paralyzed at the hands of surgery gone wrong. What must she have wondered? Will she ever walk again? Will her man stay by her side or will he leave her? Will she be happy ever again?

We are now nearly 4 years since life in a #wheelchair became my new normal. Thankfully I have my mother’s love, support and belief in me to help me adjust. So as this Mother’s Day has pasted, I’m reminded of all the WONDERFUL times I have spent with my mother and then suddenly I remembered this very special gift she gave me years ago. She’s a little old and tired (my gift), her mouth & head don’t move anymore but she still sings to me.

 I Hope You Dance By: Lee Ann Womack 
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger May you never take one single breath for granted God forbid love ever leave you empty handed I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance 
I hope you dance  ~  I hope you dance
 I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance Never settle for the path of least resistance Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin' Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin' Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance (Believe in yourself) 
I hope you dance (Trust in your heart 💗)
I hope you dance (Experience all you can while you can)  I hope you dance 
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance Dance 
I hope you dance ~ I hope you dance

As always, I wish you days filled with WONDER ~ take a minute to WONDER what it is that made you smile today!

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Fear Of The Unknown

The #Coronavirus disease (#COVID-19) 🦠 has become a worldwide #pandemic creating fear and anxiety in many, including me. Continue Reading Here

I HATE 😡 Having To Explain

UGH…. sometimes I feel like I try to “act” like everything is fine, sometimes even good and sometimes I even trick myself into feeling somewhat “normal” like thing may actually be okay. Then, unexpected and unpredictable and like I say all the time, SLAM, something happens and I am once again reminded that everything is NOT okay and I am NOT okay. Continue Reading Here

Feeling Sad and Sadly Embarrassed 😢

Yes I’m feeling sad. My childhood BFF lost her brother to cancer. 😢  Their house was like my second home when we were younger. My childhood BFF had 7 siblings so with 8 children and always a few friends floating around, well it was a party even when it wasn’t a party.

This will be the first wake I’ve had to attend since that fateful day in June 2016 left me #paralyzed and in this da___ #wheelchair, and, well, I’m embarrassed to have to be seen in this wheelchair, I’m embarrassed to admit it but, yes, I’m vain. Continue Reading Here

Making Room. . .

So as you read in my last post “When Enough Has To Be Enough” I need to try to move forward with #living_this_paralyzed_life as it is if I hope to gain any true happiness and peace of mind, both for me and for my honey and I together. Continue Reading Here

When Enough Has To Be Enough

Here I sit, 3.5 years after that fateful day in 2016, saying it out loud. . .

STOP
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Continue Reading Here

What Do You See When You Look At Me?

I’ve been trying to figure out how to write what I’ve been thinking/feeling about a situation I was in last week which made me wonder, what do people think when they see me. I apologize upfront if this post is a bit scattered or is too lengthy. Continue Reading Here

Autumn’s Adventures – Gone Forever

I have so many conflicting thoughts 😕 about this blog post circling inside my head… Last month, in my posts Falling For Fall…Again and Odd, How Old and Dying Can Feel So Invigorating I told you how much I’ve always enjoyed Fall. The Fall colors, the brisk air, the smell of fresh basked apple pie 🥧 are certainly invigorating, but what I didn’t consider at the beginning of the season (only a few weeks ago) was the sadness 😦 that I’m now feeling as we get further into Autumn.

As we move into October, more and more harvest festivals and October fests begin to take place bring with it the yet again, reminders of what I can no longer take part in, no longer look forward to and no longer enjoy.

Farms and farmland are not normally easily #accessible in a #wheelchair It’s difficult if not impossible to move across the uneven grounds of an apple orchard 🍎 in a #wheelchair. It’s difficult if not impossible to move around the uneven grounds of a pumpkin patch 🎃 in a #wheelchair. It’s impossible to enjoy a hayride as a #paraplegic. It’s impossible to feel the leaves 🍂 crunch beneath your feet 🚶‍♀️ in a #wheelchair. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to fully enjoy Autumn’s adventures.

I miss walking hand-in-hand 🤝 with my honey through piles of leaves, as we laughed together enjoying each other. I miss being happy as we playfully took pictures of ourselves in those fun autumn cutouts.

As we drove around the #Catskills this past weekend. which was in full peak for leaf peeping, I was once again reminded of all the things I no longer can do since that fateful day in June 2016 when surgery gone wrong left me #paralyzed. As the colors begin to fade and days become darker earlier, so too does my spirits darken. Outwardly, for my honey, I force myself to enjoy the ride, enjoy looking at the colorful landscape passing by me as we drove, while inward thinking just as sure as the beauty of this landscape is passing me by so too has my happy life.

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

Please feel free to “SHARE” this post with your family/friends! And don’t forget to leave your comments below, we love hearing from you!

 

In Honor Of Our First Year of #Living_This_Paralyzed_Life of “Wonders” Part 1 = Q4 2018

Okay so we know it’s been 3+ years now since that fateful day in June 2016 when hip surgery went wrong and left me #paralyzed from the waist down, but it’s been almost 1 year since I started blogging again. I thought I’d recap and summarize my year of blogging about #LivingThisParalyzedLife, some good, some bad, some happy, and oh yes, some sad, but all the while a real life learning adventure. Continue Reading Here

When Limited Mobility/Independence Become Even More Limited

After my surgery gone wrong left me #paralyzed from my waist down back in June 2016, #mobility and #independence came to a screeching halt! 

About 8 months later, Continue Reading Here

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