Phyllis Tarlow Fine Art - Hudson From Bear Mt

Physical Pain vs. Emotional Pain

Lately I’m not sure which is worse physical or emotional pain. 😞

The emotional pain of watching and listening to my elderly parents slowly deteriorate is destroying me piece by piece.

The physical pain I’m experiencing in my left hip coupled with the constant pins & needles in my left foot is becoming more and more unbearable.

I am so very angry and sad because in my case, both of these pains are a direct result of that fateful day in June 2016 when surgery gone wrong left me #paralyzed.

That surgery in June 2016 was a hip revision, it was supposed to correct the surgery I had the year prior (June 2015) that was not a success either, it wasn’t supposed to leave me paralyzed. Hip revision surgery wasn’t supposed to leave me in more physical pain than I was in prior to surgery. Hip revision surgery wasn’t supposed to leave me confined to a #wheelchair for the rest of my life. Hip revision surgery wasn’t supposed to leave me unable to help my parents age gracefully. Hip revision surgery wasn’t supposed to leave me crying more often than not.

While I recognize that I’m not the only person who has dealt with or is currently dealing with aging parents, if it wasn’t for hip revision surgery gone wrong I would be able to help my parents more; I would be able to prepare meals for them, I would be able to go to their house whenever I wanted/needed and not be dependent on my honey to drive me there, and so much more.

I’m sorry for those of you reading this that may feel like I’m complaining, again, I wish I didn’t feel so sad, so angry, so unhappy. . .I wish I could do more than sit in front of this keyboard and complain.

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4 Responses to “Physical Pain vs. Emotional Pain”

  • Jo says:

    It is always so very difficult to watch someone you love struggle and you can not be there to help. I know this very well as it has happen three times in my life as of now. I was able to go and help my family and still it was very frustrating to watch them knowing there isnt anything you can do to help them. Most people wish there was more that they could do for their loved one. It sure is a struggle mentally and physically. I feel for you its never easy no matter who you are. Even if you had all the money in the world and are physically able to do for your loved ones, it still kills you to watch them fail. Try to just make the time you have last and remind yourself they are happy you are there for them.

  • Mj grassie says:

    I am so sadden by your loss of mobility. No this should not have happened. One mishap of a doctors hand has given you a lifetime of pain and immobility. Which has taken so much from you. You have dealt with being of small stature all your life and you managed and was successful but this is hard and I know that. I do sorry you have had mobility taken away by a surgery I see my own son go through his pain and disability due to an old women not lookin while driving. And hit him leaving him without fingers on r hand and paralysis right arm and constant pain. So you see I know how hard it is. You had so much taken away. Those who judge you for venting, may they never know the hardship of your loss.

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