Phyllis Tarlow Fine Art - Hudson From Bear Mt
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My/Our 4 Day Weekend…YAY turned to NAY

So last week Wednesday was our Friday! Yay, we had a 4 day weekend ahead!  I was excited, excited to spend 4 days with my honey! And then it happened, as it has so many times over the last 3 years, I was reminded of how  useless I really am because of this dX#m #wheelchair 🙁

Wednesday afternoon, for my honey, was an hour of preparation for his deposition. Of course the actual deposition has been postponed until mid September but preparation none the less is required.

Thursday we had to travel to Fairfield NJ to Drive Master Mobility to hopefully get loud noise fixed in the new Dodge Grand Caravan we purchased there last month.  When finished in NJ we headed to my parents where my honey cut the grass and trimmed the hedges.

To my surprise, I was happy that my parents decided to come with us to Our Place in the #Catskills for the remainder of our 4 day weekend!

Because my parents are 80 and 82, we decided to wait until Friday morning to travel upstate, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise!  With the yard work completed and early evening upon us, we decided to get a bite to eat before my honey and I went home to pack the van for our weekend.  We picked up burgers from the local diner and ate at my parents.

Then about 8:00 p.m. everything changed and this is when I was once again reminded of how useless I really am.

Suddenly after we ate my honey started getting severe pain in his lower right back.   He originally thought he was constipated or need to move his bowls, perhaps had a blockage.  After about an hour of pain getting worse, we decided we needed to get home so he could lay down.

While in severe pain, he needed to:

  • drive him and me home from my parents
  • lift me out of the wheelchair
  • lift me on toilet
  • lift me from toilet to our bed
  • get me my night clothes

At this point it was about 9:00 p.m. (1 hour of severe pain).  He still was thinking it would be okay if he just rested.  After another hour, me not being able to help him, but instead watch him literally curled up on floor in pain, I told him he needed to go to ER.   Now comes the question, HOW, HOW DO I HELP THE MAN I LOVE, ANSWER, I CAN’T.

Next came:

  • I now had to call my 80 year old mother at 10:00 p.m. to ask her to get out of bed and drive us to ER

Still in severe pain, my honey now had to:

  • Get me my clothes to get redressed
  • Lift me from bed back into wheelchair
  • Push me out my front door (because I can’t get out over bump) and up to the new Dodge Grand Caravan we had to purchase (nearly $50,000) because it has #accessible ramp
  • Push me up the ramp of the Caravan and lock down the 4 locks on my wheelchair

At this point my mother was at our house, she drove the Caravan to ER while my honey continued to be in excruciating pain in the back.

Once we arrive at ER, once again feelings of uselessness take hold of me as my honey has to bend over and unlock the 4 locks of my wheelchair and pull me back down the ramp of the Caravan.  At this point I can now motor myself into the ER.  Once inside, he is put into wheelchair himself because the ER staff notice the amount of pain he is experiencing as he can hardly sit.   After morpheme was administered the pain subsided considerably.  After a cat scan was done it was determined he has kidney stones.

At 1:30 a.m. no longer in pain, my honey drove us home.  Once we got back to our home, we followed my mother back to her house (it was 1:30 in the morning and she is 80 so she is afraid).  Once home, we repeat:

  • my honey unlocking the locks of the wheelchair in the Caravan & pushing me down ramp of Caravan
  • lifting me out of wheelchair to toilet
  • lifting me from toilet back to bed
  • getting me my night clothes
  • Finally ending the day and going to bed

The sad point of this is I couldn’t help him but more importantly all my honey still needed to do for me even while in severe pain.

Now, you may ask why didn’t we just call ambulance and yes, I suppose we could have but how would I have gotten there?  I’m sure you would agree that if your spouse was being rushed to ER in severe pain you too would want to be there.

In the end, late Friday morning we all headed upstate and enjoyed the remainder of the weekend at Our Place at the lake!

As of this writing, he unfortunately still has not passed the stones but is not in pain at the moment thankfully.

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

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