Phyllis Tarlow Fine Art - Hudson From Bear Mt

How To Be Helpful & Involved . . . When You Physically Can’t

I’m going to start by saying “I know I’m not the only person in this situation.” I’m sure everyone & anyone that has physical limitations at some point can relate to not being able to be helpful and/or be physically involved in something. Whether it’s age, illness, temporary injury or, in my case, surgery gone wrong leaving me permanently #paralyzed and unable to be of any help or participate in projects and fun activities.

This week, a few of my cousins were gracious enough to take the time off from their jobs to come to Our Place and help with installing new windows & siding. I am truly blessed and grateful to have such amazing family!

Sadly, while they are all working on the outside, I’ll be sitting, alone, inside. Now I know I can sit outside and watch, assuming it’s not to chilly as it is the beginning of October in the #Catskill Mountains, and provide words of encouragement like “good job” or “looks great” but let’s be honest, it’s not the same, it’s not participating, it’s not helping. 😞

As a women, I should be able to at least be the one to prepare lunch and dinner for everyone, but I can’t. I should at least be able to get coffee/drinks and snacks for breaks for everyone, but I can’t. I should be able, but I can’t. I don’t see me ever getting past the fact that because surgery gone wrong that fateful day in June 2016 left me in a #wheelchair for the rest of my life.

My honey has been working tires-sly for the past week reframing for the new windows and wider doorway (making it easier for me to get in/out) so when my family arrives later today and the work begins that much is done. Again, as I sit here and watch him walk back-n-forth to get the hammer, move the windows to the deck, go back and get more screws, go cut another piece of wood, come back to measure window opening, etc. I cringe inside wishing I could help him. Knowing once he is finished working, he has to come in and fix us dinner 🍽️ & clean up afterwards, all while I sit. 😡 I tried to order pizza but in our small hamlet in Sullivan County NY NOBODY DELIVERS! 😲 After a week has passed laundry🧺 needs to be done, I can’t even do that! Thankfully we have AWESOME neighbors/friends across the street that washed, dried, folded and returned a load of towels!! They have been a true help to us in so many ways since #paralysis left me virtually useless. As a paralyzed #little person, I can’t reach anything! I know, I know, people think I’m being boo hoo-y, I’m not, I’m just being honest and it hurts.

As always, I wish you days filled with WONDER – take a minute to WONDER what it is that made you smile 😊 today!

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One Response to “How To Be Helpful & Involved . . . When You Physically Can’t”

  • M grassie says:

    I understand how you must feel, as my son feels the same way with so many things. One hand is difficult. He has more mobility then you do, but he still cries over his loses. I am so sorry you have been put in this difficult position because of a doctors mistake

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