Phyllis Tarlow Fine Art - Hudson From Bear Mt
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Archive for the ‘General’ Category

Snow = A Love to Hate Life Story

Snow, it’s a fact of life if you live in a northern state in the USA, snow, it’s one of the four seasons, snow, it went from fun, exciting to fear and dreading another snow event. Continue Reading Here

A Guest In My Home

Sad but true, forced to rely on other people to do everything for you, completely strips you of your identity as a person in so many ways. Continue Read Here

Because I Say So….

I guess I could be positive and say, oh they are just trying to help, but I’m tired of people ALWAYS (at least feels like always) contradicting what I say or negatively commenting on something I ask their help with. Why is it okay to make someone feel like no matter what they say or no matter what they ask for is open to contradiction! Continue Reading Here

What is #Isolation

Being unable to do things and unable to go places with the “friends” you once had makes it very difficult to be social, hence comes social #isolation. Sadly after a life altering situation many, perhaps even most, people will eventually end up isolated and alone due to no fault of their own. Continue Reading Here

A Girl’s Gotta Do What A Girl’s Gotta Do

A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do right, and for me that means SHOPPING!

Seriously though, while I do like shopping, I’ve found that wearing jeans and slacks just aren’t as practical for me, not on a regular basis at least.  #Accessibility is not always about ramps for easy/accessible entry.  For me, dresses & skirts are my new “go to” attire. Read More

All I Want For Christmas Is. . .

All I Want For Christmas Is. . . I don’t know.  Please please please, don’t think I’m sad or angry or depressed because I’m not, it’s just really really hard to come up with something Santa can get for me because there is so very little I can do. Read More Here

Honesty Doesn’t Mean Depressed

Okay so I’ve been getting some messages that some people think I’m sad, or withdrawn, I’m not, I’m just being honest. Read More Here

Finding & Believing In A Purpose

What’s my purpose?  I think at some point everyone has wondered what’s their purpose in this journey called life right, well, me too, especially now.

We’ve all heard about those “aha moments” that so many people have that defined their purpose, helped them gain insight into their purpose, well for me, I was waiting for my “aha moment” before living this life #paralyzed and now I’m really waiting on it.

I’m beyond blessed to have a WONDERFUL man by my side for nearly 14 years!  Since becoming paralyzed 2.5 years ago my honey has had to do all the things I use to do (cook [although I didn’t cook much, I believe in supporting the local businesses, i.e. local restaurants, LOL], clean, laundry, etc.) all while holding down a full time job while I sit in this #wheelchair all day in our living room.   So now I’m left wondering not only what is my overall purpose in life but what do I bring to our relationship.

Now, without a doubt, my honey continues to tell me, every day, 5x a day, he loves me, he will do absolutely anything for me, he’s always making me smile & laugh and he tells me I’m a valuable part of “us.”
If I am honest with myself, before becoming paralyzed it was me that wrote out the checks & paid the bills, it was me that wrote out holiday/birthday cards, it was me that picked out and shopped, mostly online, for our household goods, it was me that remembered dates of events or appointments, it was me that reminded him of when cars needed to be inspected, if we were doing a vacation, it was me that researched the location, booked the activities, booked our lodging, etc. all this to say that for many years our motto was, and still is, “I’m the brains, he’s the brawn” so if that’s still the same, I wish I could get past feeling so useless. It’s a slow process for sure, but I’m thankful to have my honey, always loving, always encouraging, always here!

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

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When Friends Become Acquaintances

Sadly we tend to lose “friends” at different stages of our lives.  Some may lose school friends due to college or marriage, some may loose friends due to careers and/or moves and yes, some may lose friends due to a tragic accident or unforeseen life altering situation.

I get it, it doesn’t make it easier but I get it.  I’m no longer able to jump in my car and have a girls night out, or go to lunch with my friends, I’m not longer able meet the girls for a shopping spree, etc.

When I first became #paralyzed I was overwhelmed and grateful with the many well wishes and very generous financial assistant from previous co-works, friends, family & neighbors.  Now, 2.5 years post tragedy, many of my friends have faded into the background.

Heck, because I have a stranger (a.k.a. aide) in my house M -F 6 hours a day I don’t like people to stop in unexpectedly because we (maybe more me) don’t feel comfortable or relaxed talking as we normally would.  As a result, no one stops in to visit.  And, sadly, for the same reason, not many call either. Lack of privacy in my own home has now isolated me even more than being #paralyzed.

For me, my weekends are my heaven, no aide = somewhat normalcy.  Being able to visit my parents, because my honey can pick me up and transfer me to the car and drive me there enables me to help them in the small way I can of helping with their mail, riding around doing a few errands for them and just being able to spend time with them warms my heart and of course it goes without saying, spending time with my honey, who always make me smile, laughing together makes the week bearable.

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

Please feel free to “SHARE” this post with your family/friends! And don’t forget to leave your comments below, we love hearing from you!

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The Benefits & Cost$ of #Accessible #Independence

The benefits & costs of accessible independence can be out of reach for some people.  For me, I’m lucky & thankful that my honey is very handy Read the rest of this entry »

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