Phyllis Tarlow Fine Art - Hudson From Bear Mt

Archive for November 11th, 2020

The Surprise is Gone

2020 will be my 5th year of holidays in this #wheelchair 👩‍🦽 By now you would think I’d be “okay” with celebrating holidays and special events from the luxury of sitting…wrong. With each holiday and/or special event comes, so too does yet another dose of reality, another reminder that I can no longer truly enjoy or participate in the celebrations.

Yes I can SIT and smile at those around me, YES I can laugh and pretend I’m enjoying myself but I cannot cook the #Thanksgiving dinner, Thanksgiving Dinner 2 I cannot set the Thanksgiving table 🍽️, I can not decorate my home for any holiday, and this year, the reminder of what I can not do came in the form of gift wrapping.

This year, due to #COVID19, my honey, like many others, has been working from home since mid March which has been great 😃 until it wasn’t.

Like most, November signals the brain to start preparing for the holidays, which includes Christmas shopping 🛍️. Once again, I sit in front of this keyboard and do my shopping only this year I’m feeling okay because most everyone is shopping online due to COVID. And then it happened, that awful reminder 😞. The gifts I ordered for my honey started to arrive and I realized that this year, with him working from home, I have no aide here to help me as I have the past 4 holidays, I have no way to wrap them for him, the fun and excitement of unwrapping his gifts 🎁 is forever gone 😢.Presents

It is my honey that brings the packages inside. So what am I supposed to do, ask him who it’s from, then if it’s something I ordered for him do I ask him to go in the closet and get the wrapping paper and wrap it. . .NO. Even if I tell him to just hand me all the packages, I still cannot get the wrapping paper from the closet on my own, get the scissors ✂️on my own, get the scotch tape on my own, then wrap the gift, it’s just a mess. Being #paralyzed is bad enough but being a #little person, unable to reach now that I’m stuck in this wheelchair makes life impossible! Now of course being his wonderful self, he insists that the wrapping doesn’t matter, it the thought that went into picking the gift but still my heart is broken yet again 💔

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