Phyllis Tarlow Fine Art - Hudson From Bear Mt
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Archive for 2020

I HATE 😡 Having To Explain

UGH…. sometimes I feel like I try to “act” like everything is fine, sometimes even good and sometimes I even trick myself into feeling somewhat “normal” like thing may actually be okay. Then, unexpected and unpredictable and like I say all the time, SLAM, something happens and I am once again reminded that everything is NOT okay and I am NOT okay. Continue Reading Here

I Miss “US”

It’s been a difficult week for US.  It’s #Valentine’s Day 💕week yet we have struggled every night. 

I miss US!  I hate 😡 what #paralysis has done to US.  I miss those special gestures we use to do.  Read the rest of this entry »

Feeling Sad and Sadly Embarrassed 😢

Yes I’m feeling sad. My childhood BFF lost her brother to cancer. 😢  Their house was like my second home when we were younger. My childhood BFF had 7 siblings so with 8 children and always a few friends floating around, well it was a party even when it wasn’t a party.

This will be the first wake I’ve had to attend since that fateful day in June 2016 left me #paralyzed and in this da___ #wheelchair, and, well, I’m embarrassed to have to be seen in this wheelchair, I’m embarrassed to admit it but, yes, I’m vain.

In my head I know I’m going for a very special friend and her family but at the same time, I hate having to go and see so many of my old friends from school and be in this wheelchair. Seeing people from my past life, before #paralysis, is harder for me.

Sad too is the fact that I will not be able to attend the church service the following day because I have no way to get there as my honey will be working.

Instead of being able to focus on supporting my friend and her family, first I’m now forced to think, can I enter the funeral home? Is the viewing room going to allow for enough space for this wheelchair to roll past the folding chairs where so many will be seated, etc. Once again, that slap in the face hits me, reminds me that my life is no longer care free.

To my departed friend, you fought a tough battle. You touched the lives of so many. Now is your time to rest. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

As always, I wish you days filled with WONDER – take a minute to WONDER what it is that made you smile today!

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Making Room. . .

So as you read in my last post “When Enough Has To Be Enough” I need to try to move forward with #living_this_paralyzed_life as it is if I hope to gain any true happiness and peace of mind, both for me and for my honey and I together. Continue Reading Here

When Enough Has To Be Enough

Here I sit, 3.5 years after that fateful day in 2016, saying it out loud. . .

STOP
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Continue Reading Here

The Best & Worst Decade of My Life. . .

I know I’m late, but Happy New Year! 🥳 January 2020, the 1st month of the year, the 1st month of a new decade yet as 2019 came to a close and 2020 was about to begin, I realized the best & worst decade of my life was coming to an end. I’m not sure how I feel. Continue Reading Here

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