Phyllis Tarlow Fine Art - Hudson From Bear Mt
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#Thanksgiving – Today’s Thankfulness Is In My Past

Next week is #Thanksgiving, normally a very festive and thankful season, the start of the holiday season.

By this time, the week before Thanksgiving, my house would normally be filled with fall colors, fall decorations both indoors and outdoors and smells of fall simmering in my wax warmer and on the stove.  I loved the making my guests feel warm and welcome the minute they approached our door so my outdoors was always filled with cheerful decor!

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Honesty Doesn’t Mean Depressed

Okay so I’ve been getting some messages that some people think I’m sad, or withdrawn, I’m not, I’m just being honest.

For example, when I say I miss not being able to decorate my house as the season change, that’s true, I do miss not being able to do that.  Because I can’t do it, I don’t really care if it gets done or not.  But not caring if it gets done or not doesn’t mean I’m sad or withdrawn or depressed.  Why don’t I care? Mostly because if it were to get done now that would mean I’d have to ask my honey to get it all out, then put it all here or there and truthfully he does enough so I now pick and choose. Secondly, because part of the joy of seasonal decorating is the enjoyment of doing it; once again, what once was now isn’t and was wasn’t, now is and that’s the honest truth.

Before becoming #paralyzed I kept a clean house; dusted, vacuumed, washed dishes, put things in their proper place (for the most part )  but now, sitting in this #wheelchair combined with my limited reach ability, it’s very difficult, if not impossible, to reach things that once were put in their respective places, so I now leave bills to be paid, check books, letter opened, magazines, hand cream, etc. on one corner of the dinning room table and it’s okay.  It may not look good, it may appear that we are sloppy or don’t pick up or don’t keep a neat house but it’s okay.  It’s okay because me having the ability to reach them on my own without having to ask someone to get it for me makes it bearable.  Normally I would want my table cleared with a nice centerpiece but not now and again, it’s okay.

My joy now comes from watching the birds at my many feeders, designing my new bathrooms that my honey is redoing to make life a little easier for me, researching accessible RV’s so we can travel more, taking rides together with my honey, and writing this blog!  But guess what, I’ve ALWAYS enjoyed those things!  So no, I’m not sad, I’m just honest, honest about what does and doesn’t matter in this journey called life, at least what does and doesn’t matter in MY journey.

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

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Finding & Believing In A Purpose

What’s my purpose?  I think at some point everyone has wondered what’s their purpose in this journey called life right, well, me too, especially now.

We’ve all heard about those “aha moments” that so many people have that defined their purpose, helped them gain insight into their purpose, well for me, I was waiting for my “aha moment” before living this life #paralyzed and now I’m really waiting on it.

I’m beyond blessed to have a WONDERFUL man by my side for nearly 14 years!  Since becoming paralyzed 2.5 years ago my honey has had to do all the things I use to do (cook [although I didn’t cook much, I believe in supporting the local businesses, i.e. local restaurants, LOL], clean, laundry, etc.) all while holding down a full time job while I sit in this #wheelchair all day in our living room.   So now I’m left wondering not only what is my overall purpose in life but what do I bring to our relationship.

Now, without a doubt, my honey continues to tell me, every day, 5x a day, he loves me, he will do absolutely anything for me, he’s always making me smile & laugh and he tells me I’m a valuable part of “us.”
If I am honest with myself, before becoming paralyzed it was me that wrote out the checks & paid the bills, it was me that wrote out holiday/birthday cards, it was me that picked out and shopped, mostly online, for our household goods, it was me that remembered dates of events or appointments, it was me that reminded him of when cars needed to be inspected, if we were doing a vacation, it was me that researched the location, booked the activities, booked our lodging, etc. all this to say that for many years our motto was, and still is, “I’m the brains, he’s the brawn” so if that’s still the same, I wish I could get past feeling so useless. It’s a slow process for sure, but I’m thankful to have my honey, always loving, always encouraging, always here!

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

Please feel free to “SHARE” this post with your family/friends! And don’t forget to leave your comments below, we love hearing from you!

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When Friends Become Acquaintances

Sadly we tend to lose “friends” at different stages of our lives.  Some may lose school friends due to college or marriage, some may loose friends due to careers and/or moves and yes, some may lose friends due to a tragic accident or unforeseen life altering situation.

I get it, it doesn’t make it easier but I get it.  I’m no longer able to jump in my car and have a girls night out, or go to lunch with my friends, I’m not longer able meet the girls for a shopping spree, etc.

When I first became #paralyzed I was overwhelmed and grateful with the many well wishes and very generous financial assistant from previous co-works, friends, family & neighbors.  Now, 2.5 years post tragedy, many of my friends have faded into the background.

Heck, because I have a stranger (a.k.a. aide) in my house M -F 6 hours a day I don’t like people to stop in unexpectedly because we (maybe more me) don’t feel comfortable or relaxed talking as we normally would.  As a result, no one stops in to visit.  And, sadly, for the same reason, not many call either. Lack of privacy in my own home has now isolated me even more than being #paralyzed.

For me, my weekends are my heaven, no aide = somewhat normalcy.  Being able to visit my parents, because my honey can pick me up and transfer me to the car and drive me there enables me to help them in the small way I can of helping with their mail, riding around doing a few errands for them and just being able to spend time with them warms my heart and of course it goes without saying, spending time with my honey, who always make me smile, laughing together makes the week bearable.

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

Please feel free to “SHARE” this post with your family/friends! And don’t forget to leave your comments below, we love hearing from you!

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It’s Okay to Not be Okay…

I’m not okay, or at least, I’m not who I was before, before losing my joy, my energy, my zest for life, my love of the changing seasons, my enjoyment in decorating, before losing me, Read More

The Benefits & Cost$ of #Accessible #Independence

The benefits & costs of accessible independence can be out of reach for some people.  For me, I’m lucky & thankful that my honey is very handy Read the rest of this entry »

“Wondering” What Defines #Disabled…

“Wondering” what defines disabled? The word #disabled, in my opinion, is, in part, a mindset. According to Merriam-Webster, Definition of disabled: 1a : impaired or limited by a physical, mental, cognitive, or developmental condition: affected by disability. Read More

Taking A Chance & Road Trips

If you followed me in the past than you know how much my honey and I use to  our road trips and long weekends driving around the #HudsonValley, the #Catskills and sometimes even the #Adirondacks, but my medical issues the last few years have completely put the brakes on our road trips. Read More

It’s Been A Long Time….I’ve Missed You

It’s been a long time, 5 years in fact, wow,….I’ve Missed You!  Originally Wonderful Wonders was a place to highlight and feature the many wonderful people, places & things in and around the Hudson Valley, NY.

After a life altering situation a few years ago (which I’m sure I’ll get around to sharing more about in a future post), I now find myself wondering, wondering what’s it all about. Read More

NORTH MEETS SOUTH WHEN NYC WELCOMED THE NEELY’S!

We ventured out of our normal playground of the Hudson Valley and traveled into the world famous New York City to have dinner at the     Neely’s Barbecue  Parlor Manhattan’s Upper East Side on First Avenue.  Funny, I’ve grown up just about an hour outside of NYC and have never had an overwhelming desire to go into the city unless for a specific adventure/event or show and dinner and yet people travel from all over the world to visit the famous “Big Apple.” -Not that I don’t enjoy an evening in the city every now and then because I do, I just don’t know that I would make that my vacation destination of choice, perhaps that is because I have such easy access and can visit anytime….

Well, back to the Neely’s! My mother (Mama D as my honey calls her) LOVES to watch the cooking shows on the Food Network– including Down Home with the Neely’s.  So when my mother told me that the Neely’s recently opened a new restaurant in the city and suggested we go for dinner one night, we agreed. 

So we booked our table via Open Table and off we went.  Arriving a bit early, we enjoyed sitting at the bar looking around at the various dining rooms that surrounded the bar and chatting with Nicki.  Nicki and her friend “Wilbur” filled us in on the how and when Pat & Gina Neely came to be part of the Merchants and how warm and friendly they really are.  Each dining room is uniquely decorated each with its own ambiance and flare. 

As we normally do, we decided on two different dishes that we would share/sample.  First we started with the Candied Thick Cut Slab Bacon which is bacon strip coated with brown sugar & slow baked until it’s crispy and it was definitely crispy!   We then settled on the Pork Sampler Platter of Spare ribs, baby back ribs & pulled pork     and the famous “Blue Ribbon” Chicken (Aka Pat’s beer can chicken)    a free range chicken cooked with a pabst blue ribbon beer can in its belly!  The chicken came with 2 side dishes and the pork sampler came with one side so we had the delicious corn bread, the southern creamed corn and the sweet potato fries!   The chicken was great1 It was moist and juicy and I added the Neely’s Spicy sauce and all I can say is hmm hmm good!  The corn bread was delicious (which actually isn’t considered a side we just made it one of our sides) as were the sweet potato fries!  For me the southern creamed corn wasn’t all that creamy but, none-the-less it was good.

 Then of course there is desert, our favorite! Now, for those of you that follow WonderfulWonders, you know my honey and I always split a dessert, well, this time we didn’t . . .shocking right! We thought we probably wouldn’t be back to the Neely’s so we should be fair to them and experience as much as we could (LOL).  We did of course share; so together we shared the Red Velvet Cake with cream cheese icing, which honesty was a bit dry for my taste and the Blackberry Cobbler with vanilla ice cream which was my favorite of the two.

 A small selection of merchandise  is available in a small curio cabinet in the foyer and on their store page of the website.

 So, for all you southern folk livin here in the north, we would say the Neely’s Barbecue Parlor is a “must-do” the next time you visit Manhattan!

As always, I wish you days filled with wonder – take a minute to wonder what it is that made you smile today!

Please feel free to “SHARE” this post with your family/friends! And don’t forget to leave your comments below, we love hearing from you!

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